Look ma, no bellybutton

One of the excuses reasons why I haven’t been around in a while is my health. I know we all have shitty days where we don’t feel good. But over the past 7-8 months, I can count on two hands how many days I’ve actually felt “normal”. Between the migraines coming back, the non-stop menstrual cycle (seriously…during this time I wasn’t on my period for maybe 2 months!), and the whole gastro issues, I haven’t exactly been fun to be around. Just ask my husband.

However, last month, they finally found something wrong with me! Cysts. Big ass cysts. On my left ovary. My doc called them cluster cysts. The largest one was larger than the ovary itself and with the help of all of the other cysts which decided to play, my poor little ovary never stood a chance. Plus, they were partially solid. Within 2 weeks of diagnosis I was in surgery. Though the cancer markers came back negative, they needed to biopsy those bastards to make sure.

On June 24, one month ago today, they decided to do this to me:

Look ma, no bellybutton

3rd times a charm

They performed laparoscopic surgery. 3 holes, one in the bellybutton and one on either side and below the bellybutton. Surgery went fine. Ended up removing the ovary/tube because, yeah, those cysts didn’t play very nice. There was also another cyst on the right ovary which she took care of. She also found some scar tissue from a previous surgery (appendix 20+ years ago) which had fused my stomach to my gastro track. (Have you ever seen photos of this stuff?? Nasty. She showed me the photos she took during surgery and ick.) Anyway, ovary, tube, scar tissue removed.

Diagnosis? Cancer free. Endometriosis. And the cysts…chocolate. Yummy. *barf* She will be checking me frequently for the return of those bastards on my right ovary. However, right now, everything seems to be in working order and I’m pain free. Go me!

Let’s get this party started!

Yes…we’re gonna have a party! Make that 2 parties!

The first one is being held next Thursday and we’ll be celebrating by having both a pelvic and vaginal ultrasound. Sounds like such fun doesn’t it. I just love having some 12 freakin’ inch rod shoved up into my nether regions and swished around like a damn swizzle stick. Fun times. Fun times.

The second party is being held the following Wednesday. Now see, this particular party is going to be soo much cooler than first one! Ready for it? This time we’ll be celebrating having an EMB. That’s right folks…a good ole endometrial biopsy. I get to have pieces of my uterus ripped out through some little suction thing for a biopsy to make sure I’m not growing those pesky little cancer cells.

So be sure you RSVP. You know you don’t want to miss the parties of the year.