Yeah, I don’t recommend it

Yesterday was a living nightmare.

I did what my RA told me. I took my Ambien, Soma and that shit Cymbalta Wednesday night before bed. I do not recommend ever doing that. I was soooo…hell, drugged up, it wasn’t funny. I don’t even remember driving to work Thursday morning. I finally came home around noon because I just could not function. Everything was in slow motion. My skin was crawling. I felt numb. It was ugly.

When I got home I called Danielle before I could go into full panic mode. She told me my RA was stupid, which I fully agree with. I was telling her all of the symptoms and her diagnosis was that I was basically od’ing (without actually od’ing) with all of the meds in my system. I also called my RA’s office and told them what was going on. Their response…go to the ER and have my system flushed out. Before doing that however, I called Alicia, whom I just love from my GP’s office, and she was of a different opinion. She said that they wouldn’t flush my system for 30mg’s of Cymbalta. That I just needed to ride out the storm. I wasn’t really keen on that idea, but it beat the hell out of the ER option.

I consciously made the decision that I would not take any other meds until this shit was out of my system. In making this decision, I knew I would be in pain the today. It was a chance I was willing to take. By 3pm yesterday I had THE migraine from hell. I was already hurting before this, but I could handle it. But when the migraine started, all of the other pain intensified 100 fold. I wanted to just curl up and die. I couldn’t sleep either. Every time I tried my heart would speed up or slow way down. I was either too hot or too cold. It seemed like none of my systems were working right.

I finally laid down around 10:30 to try and get some sleep. I woke up a dozen times or so because I couldn’t get comfortable or the pain just got to be too much. I did get 3 hours solid sleep from about 6-9 am. Needless to say, I did not go into work today. There was no way in hell that was going to happen.

Things just aren’t the same anymore

I have been meaning to update this place for quite some time now (been working on this post alone for almost two weeks) and I just haven’t been able to find the words to do so. Which, if I’m being honest, usually isn’t an issue.

The last post I wrote was written from a hospital bed. I was admitted because no one could figure out what caused the vision loss. Actually, if you want to get technical, they still haven’t given a complete diagnosis. Anyway…their best guess was a migraine induced stroke. The left occipital lobe just collapsed as far as they could tell. They put me through their MRI’s, CT’s, Echo’s, Spinal Taps…I could continue the list of shit they put me through for those 5 days, but I won’t bore you with that. The amount of blood they took from me during my stay was enough to feed a small colony of vampires. And the heart tests, jebus marie…at least I know I’m not going have a heart attack any time soon. And still, after all of that, nothing definitive. After all, a stroke is a stroke is a stroke and there isn’t a whole hell of a lot to be done about it.

Since being out of the hospital, I have seen countless specialists, again, with no real help. There is nothing in the world like not knowing what the hell caused your stroke in the first place. In turn, this not knowing, has caused my panic/anxiety attacks to worsen. Now that’s a treat. My husband loves when I start turning bright red and start to panic for no apparent reason.

Anyway, to summarize…I’ve been tested for everything. They (the dr.’s) had found nothing. The cardio couldn’t help as nothing is wrong with my heart. The neuro was just as useless. The neuroradiologist is the one who made the most since with the migraine stuff. He also ruled out the MS, which made me happy, and is the one who suggested I follow up with the rheumatologist. That though is a whole other post.

So I’m dealing with the vision loss and getting on with things. There isn’t much else I can do…

I am convinced

After my unexpected trip to the ER last week (incidentally the same day my girlie bits were to be used as a receptacle for a swizzle stick), I’m convinced that the medical profession has no clue what it’s doing.

While the ER finally “diagnosed” my issue as some sort of freaky ass migraine, they decided that the best thing to give me was morphine. Um, I don’t think so. When in the hell did doctors decide that morphine was the cur all? I mean c’mon… The ER doc actually told me that their main goal is to make sure the patient is comfortable and in no pain. Um, yeah whatever. The only people, IMO, who need morphine are those that are pleading out of unnatural orifices or have lost appendages, etc. Not for a freaking migraine. The make non narcotic crap for that. They (the nurses/doctor) were actually shocked that I refused both morphine and percoset. That is just sad.

I’m also convinced that when my girlie bits do become a receptacle for that stupid swizzle stick (w007, next Tuesday. That so rocks! Not.), that it is a very real possibility that they may find something. All of the symptoms that I’ve been having that I didn’t think had anything to do with my girlie bits, do in fact have something to do with them. Pelvic pain, having to pee a lot, lower back pain…all are symptoms of uterine fibroids. I was diagnosed with these in the late 90’s. However, at the time they were extremely small (less the 2 mm). But I’m convinced that they’ve grown to the size of basketballs and that they are what’s causing all of my issues. I will tell you now though, if they don’t find something…I will go postal. I will use that swizzle stick to beat them over the head with. I will make them bleed.

But enough of that…I’m off to take a nap seeing as how we are going to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones tonight. Danielle…if you and the boy are feeling better, you should join us. 11:30 at the Orleans theater.